Prayer to the Father

Oh God, you are such a good Father.

How patient you are with me, even while I am so impatient with you.

How faithful you are to me, even while I am so unfaithful to you.

Like a loving Father, you want me to be real with you.  You want me to be honest and to not hold back.  You invite me to share everything with you, even my anger, frustration, doubt, and fear.  And as I throw my little hissy fit, you patiently listen and take it.  You let me finish all of my thoughts, let me get through everything I have to say, even while I'm doubting you, upset with you, telling you all the ways you're screwing up, even struggling to have faith in you.

Like a good Father, who looks out for my best interest, who desires to raise me up and help me grow, you don't always respond right away.  You're patient.  Even while I complain, doubt, shout and scream, you wait patiently. You have perfect timing, different than mine...which gives me even more frustration to which I rebel like a sophomore in high school. But, you know what is best for me, more than I do.  And so you wait.

I just can't get over how patient you are with me!  You had every right to slap me silly after a simple breath of anger and frustration.  How dare I question the Almighty God!  How dare I question your plan, your goodness, your presence, your control, your all-consuming love!  You had every right to cut me off right in that moment.  And yet, you didn't.  You patiently waited for me to finish.

And now, you're beginning to answer.

You remind me of the father that you are, who disciplines your children so that they may grow in faith and love, and share in your holiness (Hebrews 12).  You remind me that I may have my plans, but you have your plans, which are SO much better than mine, even if I cannot see where they're going (Proverbs 16:9, 19:21).  You show me examples of where you've disciplined your followers through tough times, and how they have grown through that (Job, Habakkuk).  You remind me that though there is pain, suffering, and weeping in the night, joy comes in the morning (Psalm 30:5).  You remind me that, truly, you do work all things for the good of those who love you, in YOUR time (Romans 8:28).  You remind me that you yourself know what it is to suffer, to feel pain, to surrender control to the circumstances you are in (Good Friday), but then how you claimed victory over that suffering, and are the conquering King of kings (Easter).

Oh God, forgive my doubt, forgive my anger and frustration and complaining.  Forgive me for my hissy fit.  Thank you for being patient with my tantrum, but please forgive me for it.  I'm sorry I ever doubted your presence, your goodness, your compassion, your love, You.

You are a good Father.  You discipline me so that I may grow into your holiness.  You allow brokenness and suffering to happen in my life that I may come out the other side with a stronger faith, hope, and love for you.  You are good, ALL THE TIME.

God, as I continue to walk through a world of suffering, help me to see beyond my immediate circumstances.  Oh God, I do pray that I can be done with infections, broken bones, hospitals, and whatever else very, very soon, if it is in your will.  But, no matter what I do face, will you help me to open my eyes beyond the immediate suffering?  When I only look at the present situation, I doubt you.  Help me to open my eyes in those situations, to truly take joy in trials and tribulations that I face, knowing that you are helping me grow in my trust in you.  Please help me trust in your discipline, knowing that you are working all things for good.

And God, continue to be more patient with me, for you and I both know there will be more hissy fits as I go through trying times.

But, I know you are good, and you are faithful, and you are patient, and you are loving, and you are just, and you are the greatest thing in all existence.

You are a good father.  Thank you for choosing me to be one of your children.

I love you, Abba.